Monday, August 5, 2013

Let's Do The News! (August 5, 2013)

(cheers and applause)

Richard: Doesn't stand a chance! He he he...

(applause continues)

Jeremy: Anyway, you said that the Adipose just got scared when it sees Isabella's cute face. Wow, Adipose doesn't stand a chance against Isabella. So, who's going to be next?

Richard: I dunno. Find out next week.

(audience laughing)

Richard: Anyway, the news. And oh, has anyone saw the Doctor Who Live special? It was televised worldwide for the big revelation of who will be the 12th Doctor and as it turned out. It's someone older than Matt Smith. Peter Capaldi.

James: Peter Capaldi? Well, I haven't heard about that man but he's no stranger to the world of Doctor Who, I think.

Jeremy: Yeah, Richard. Just who the hell is Peter Capaldi?

Richard: Well, for starters, like what James May said, he's no stranger to the world of Doctor Who. In the 2008 season of Doctor Who, he was Caecillus in the Fires of Pompeii episode, the one where Karen Gillan was in that episode as one of the Sisterhood. A year later, he was John Frobisher in the Children of Earth arc of its spin-off, Torchwood. His involvement at the BBC also includes being in the TV drama, The Hour, which lasted for two seasons.

Jeremy: Well, it was definitely better than standing still, waiting for when will the new Pope be. Good thing he's not (ahem)...you know. As it turned out, he's also Scottish-born just like David Tennant. Coincidence? I think not...

(audience laughing)

Jeremy: Anyway. Welcome to the world of Doctor Who...again. Peter Capaldi. Don't screw this for us when you show up for Christmas!

(audience laughing)

Jeremy: Oh, hey! The US Government. They said that they issued a global security alert because...well. It's because of what would the Al-Qaeda do for the whole month. I'm not so sure why they issues such a warning though but...this is very serious.

James: As serious as this morning's newspaper?

(audience laughing)

Jeremy: Yes. It's serious. Reason why the US issued a global warning is because Al-Qaeda's are doing some stupidity going around the Arabian Peninsula. If I said, stupidity. Yes. Some say, it could happen at the end of Ramadan, which is the holy month for the Muslims. But in theory, I don't know. Anyway, we'll look at that thing up later okay?

Richard: Yeah. There's always BBC News telling those stuff but be advised....Stay away from the Arabian Peninsula for security purposes, okay?

Jeremy: Yeah and oh...word to Chito Miranda, who was the vocal of Parokya Ni Edgar, a OPM rock band we all loved because of Mr. Suave and oh! They even collaborate with Kamikazee for THE ORDERTAKER! I love that song. He he he.... Anyway, word to Chito Miranda from Parokya Ni Edgar, our thoughts belong to you.

Richard: Why?

Jeremy: Because....he's been ashamed after some idiot uploaded his private video with his girlfriend in the net.

James: Oh...Some sort of sex scandal that wasn't supposed to be in the net until some idiot did? Aw man... This goes to show, ENOUGH WITH THE SCANDAL! SCANDALS RUIN CELEBS' LIVES, OKAY?!

(audience laughing)

Jeremy: Yeah. How many celebs got suffered over sex scandals? A lot! This is nuts! Netizens, all of you! Stop searching over scandals of your favorite celebs, okay? I mean, what's to like about those stupid sex scandals? Nothing! There's something you can hate about! Sex scandals can badly hurt not just yours but other's reputations as celebs! Got it?

(audience laughing)

Jeremy: Anyway, you still remember the whole Hayden Kho fiasco?

James: I am...

(audience laughing)

Jeremy: What? Have you watched a scandal before?

James: Uh no. No, I'm not. I'm no scandal-lover but that issue really grinds my gears. Get it? GRINDS MY GEARS!

(audience laughing)

James: Oh...There goes the song...Don't touch my birdie...

(audience laughing)

Jeremy: Anyway, moving on to...Gravity Falls. While we got happy over the season finale of the hit Disney TV show, word from the mouth is that fast-food chain Subway made a collaboration with the show and here it is...

Subway teams up with Gravity Falls!
James: Yeah. Says here for every purchase of Subway Kids' Meal, you'll get a free Gravity Falls bag. There are six of them to collect for a limited time only while supplies last. So uh...want one?

Richard: Oh yeah. I had a grappling hook! You wanna come to Subway for those?

(audience laughing)

James: Oh yeah!

Richard: Hang tight!

(grappling hook fires, then get away)

(audience laughing)

Jeremy: Okay, you guys had fun! Anyway that is the end of the news!

(Richard and James yelling)

(drop!)

(audience laughing)

Richard: Aw man! The grappling hook's not working!

James: Ouch! You're hurting my spleen!

(audience laughing)

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