Monday, May 13, 2013

Let's Do The News! (May 13, 2013)

(cheers and applause)

Lamborghini Aventador


RH: 50 years?!

JC: Yes. 2013 really is the year of the 50. 50 years. Look, 50 years of Doctor Who, 50 years of Lamborghini...um...what else is 50? Anyone?!

(audience murmuring)

JC: Oh, well...Anyway, let's do the news, instead!

JM: Now, every three years, the republic of the Philippines held an election and for 2013, this is the second year the Philippines are on the urge of using, what other countries are adopting, automated elections which sometimes isn't the right choice for the Philippines.

JC: Yeah, second year since three years ago when the Philippines are on the urge of digital transition because they want to give automated elections a try because over the years, when there's an election, most Filipinos rely on the traditional method which we write something on the blackboard about who did the citizen vote and then counting, counting, counting, until it ran out and declare the winner. With automated elections, I believe that it has a 50-50 chance of determining the winner but I think it's not ideal for the Philippines to have automated elections because...it's much more confusing than the good old days...

(audience laughing)

RH: Yeah, very confusing indeed. Sometimes it can't read, sometimes it got jammed. Paper jam to be exact. Same as your printer when you got a paper jam...

(audience laughing)

JC: Anyway, forget about the terribly confusing PCOS Machine malarkey, let's talk about the Philippine senators running for the seat at the senate.

JM: Yes, and there has been several Philippine senator candidates, each has their own views on the RH Law, the freedom of information, the right of reply in FOI bill, the anti-political dynasty law, the claim to Sabah, divorce, same-sex marriage, pork barrel aboliton, e-vat, automatic debt appropriation, labor export policy, job contractualization, and the charter change.

RH: Wait, did you said RH Law? I just remembered! A couple of weeks ago, I just noticed the poster I saw in some church. There was this TEAM BUHAY and TEAM PATAY stuff. The church said that JV Estrada, Gregorio Honasan, Mitos Magsaysay, Koko Pimentel, Antonio Trillanes, and Cynthia Villar were the candidates who are opposed to the RH LAW and they were the ones to vote for if they were against the RH  LAW and then there's the ones who are support the RH LAW and they should not vote for those such as Juan Edgardo Angara, Teddy Casino, Alan Peter Cayetano, Jackie Enrile, Francis Escudero, Risa Hontiveros, and Loren Legarda.

JC: Oh yeah! Well, since this whole TEAM BUHAY-TEAM PATAY malarkey sparked outrage, they asked the church to take away because this is nothing more of a scare campaign, if you know what I mean? Anyway, while those senators had their own views on the RH Law, there are others who agreed on the freedom of information, most agreed to have PH pursue the Sabah claim, most who are against divorce, those who oppose same-sex, etc., etc, they all go on and that's analogy...

JM: Yeah, and to those who are heading to the voting booths, here's an advice; vote only what your heart desires. Don't resort into guessing because guessing don't help and most of all, VOTE WISELY. That is all, VOTE WISELY because your vote COUNTS.

(cheers and applause)

JC: That's right and for the latest on the 2013 Philippine Senatorial Elections, visit http://www.interaksyon.com/pagbabago2013 for more updates!

RH: Don't forget!

(applause)

JC: Now, with the US Version of The Office, is reaching the final episode on NBC this week, we're kinda sad to see the end of our favorite workaholic sitcom.

JM: Yeah, and I'm kinda miss Catherine Tate for being Nellie Bertram in that show...

JC: Exactly, now I heard that it's not over for Catherine Tate because I just noticed that she'll be on the British version of an American classic sitcom, Everybody Loves Raymond, called The Smiths and it will also star Lee Mack as well.

RH: Lee Mack?! Wait! I know that guy! He's from Lee Mack and Bits! I remember!

JC: Yep. Catherine Tate and Lee Mack, together for the British equivalent of Everybody Loves Raymond. I'm so glad the middle-aged Catherine Tate is back...

(audience laughing)

JC: Now, I'd already tackled more about Lamborghini's 50th anniversary and I'd listed the ten best Lambos of the decades. Now, Lamborghini launched another 50th anniversary gift to themselves, here it is...

Lamborghini Egoista concept
(audience laughing)

RH: What?! What kind of a machine was that?

JC: I don't know. Says here it's a single seater supercar for the unnecessary selfie. Anyway, judging by the looks of it, it kinda looks like a toy car to me. This is somewhat more like a future version of Speed Racer's Mach 5 to me but question is, does it have the Mach 5 gadgets like the ability to fly, ability to go off-road, go through water, something something something....

(audience laughing)

RH: I don't know man. Maybe this future Mach 5 has some of it you mention and I'd really don't expect a little girl and a monkey on the trunk because, you guessed it. Engine's on the trunk!

(audience laughing)

JC: Okay, moving on... Word from the world of MLP...

(audience laughing hysterically)

RH: MLP?! As in, My Little Pony?! Jeremy, are you trying to tell someone that you're starting to become...

JC: Hush! Hush! Hush! Shut up fool! Anyway, the super popular My Little Pony franchise gets a summer movie and if it means it, yes it is. The thing about the upcoming MLP movie is that it goes by the banner "Equestria Girls" and this...Equestria Girls marks the departure of the pony lives of everyone's favorite ponies such as Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, and Fluttershy because those favorite ponies as seen on the TV show had given the "teenage girls" interpretation.

(huh)

JM: So, the teenage girls on the upcoming Equestria Girls film were interpreted from the pony counterparts?!

JC: Take a look at yourself...

My Little Pony: Equestria Girls
RH: Oh my stars! Makes me wanna get my head explode when I see those!!!

JC: Yeah, hope our heads will explode. Anyway, Hasbro told that the new Equestria Girls will make a premiere at the LA Film Festival next month and it will be released in over 200 theaters across the US and it will come out in DVD later and then to be aired on the Hub channel this autumn. Although it looks different to the MLP TV show most bronies watched, it still retains the same MLP theme which is LOVE AND TOLERANCE.

RH: Love and Tolerance...Oh I get it now! But still, I'm so not into those kind of stuff...

(audience laughing)

JC: Anyway, that is the end of the news and if you don't mind, I'd rather go to the restroom and vomit myself...

(audience laughing)

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