Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Let's Do The News! (March 5, 2013)

(cheers and applause)

2013 Volkswagen The Beetle Cabriolet


JM: So, you were saying that there was no existing console video game featured the 21st Century Beetle?

JC: I tell you what, it's because most blokes from video game publishers often want to "turn left" and if by "turn left", I mean of course, going back from the previous century. That's the problem with racing video games featuring licensed cars. They always wanna turn left and prefer only cars from the 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, the list goes on and on...

JM: Hmmm, what about present times?

(audience laughing)

JC: That's something I can't tell you about and oh! Tell you what? Let's do the news!

RH: Now, one of my favorite Porsche 911 of all time, the 911 GT3, has now received the full model change and based on the 991 model, the new 911 GT3 will be debuted at this year's Geneva Motor Show. Check this out...

2014 Porsche 911 GT3
JC: Oh my goodness....

RH: What's about the GT3 is an uprated 3.8L flat-6 engine which develops 450 horsepower, 0 to 60 in 3.5 seconds, mated with a double-clutch gearbox and...

JC: And you better need to get some eye checkups at EO...

(audience laughing)

RH: ?????

JC: Cause I tell you what, this GT3 version of the 991 911 is the kind of car a certain idiot would have if he has poor eyesight and needs to have an eye checkup at EO...

JM: EO? Himmel EO?

(audience laughing)

JC: No, Executive Optical. That's EO. Also, what I'm thinking about this car that because everything's changed on the 911 GT3, you'd have to dress yourself as Tekken's Xiaoyu to enjoy it or iM@S' Azusa Miura...

(audience laughing)

RH: So, fat boy in suit, as you were saying you have to be either Xiaoyu or Azusa Miura to enjoy this Executive Optical that has been beefed up with PDK and a boxer enigne uprated for perfection... Are you sure about that?

JC: Yes. And since you like 911s, guess this is your responsibility to dress yourself as Xiaoyu or Azusa Miura and get inside the new GT3 just to find out how c*ck of an oxymoron you are.

(audience laughing)

JC: Anyway, there's a brand new Lamborghini coming at the Geneva Motor Show and it's a car that celebrates 50 years of Lamborghini. Here it is...

2013 Lamborghini Veneno
(oooohh)

JC: This is what they called it...um...ah...Well, never mind about that name. What this new car is that it was based on the Aventador, V12 engine now has 750HP, costs a million pounds, limited to three, and...

JM: And already sold out....

JC: What?

JM: Already...sold out.

(audience laughing)

JC: Oh, really. Guess because the car with a stupid name is already sold out, guess we're not going to try it round the track. What a relief though...

(audience laughing)

JM: Yeah, and what was that name of that car?

JC: I don't know...It's something spelled V-E-N-E-N-O.

JM: Veneno?

(audience laughing)

JC: Yeah, Veneno...Kinda sounds like Neneko...

RH: Oh gosh...

(audience laughing)

JC: Oh, hey! Hey! I have a little story to tell.

RH: What story is it about? Do you mean at the time that you have to bang your head everytime when you seen a picture of Miss Jenna Lousie Coleman in the "souffle" search term?

(audience laughing)

JC: Oh, no no no no....Because when I was busy making tweets at twitter, there was that girl I've encountered. That girl told me that I like iDOLM@STEr and she, too, was an iM@S fan. She also explained that her favorite iM@S character was Haruka Amami. Just a little tidbit that I'm gonna share it to you, pals.

JM: Wait, wait, wait...So you were saying that this girl you've encountered, she's an iM@S fan and Haruka Amami's her favorite character. What does she look like?

(audience laughing)

RH: Yeah, what does this mystery girl look like?

JC: I have a sneaking suspicion that this girl...Kinda look like "souffle girl"

RH: Oh geez....

(audience laughing)

JC: Of course, I have some kind of "Oswin Oswald tendencies" on my head. I just can't get away that this person I've just encountered on the internet really really reminded me of souffle girl. To be honest, I have a sneaking suspicion that this person might be named Clara...

JM: Clara, as in, Clara Oswin Oswald?

(audience laughing)

JC: Sort of...She looks like Clara, talks like souffle girl, except she's an iM@S fan. She's not a souffle girl, but more of a carbon copy...A carbon fiber copy...Mmmmm...

(audience laughing)

JC: Anyway, while on the subject of iM@S, while most mobage subscribers are enjoying Cinderella Girls, it seems that social media network GREE decides to have a shot at it. With the help of game maker, Bandai Namco, GREE launched a new iDOLM@STER social game that will rival mobage's Cinderella Girls.

THE IDOLM@STER MILLION LIVE


JM: Yes, it is. It's called MILLION LIVE. And just like Mobage's iM@S Cinderella Girls, you have different choice idols for you to produce but just like Cinderella Girls, this is nothing more of a collectible card game.

RH: Right, just like in Cinderella Girls, players pay some cash, real cash it is, to draw a random idol that they train and compete with. Most are NORMAL, some are RARE, while few are SUPER RARE so the odds of getting a specific card differs depending on how much money you spend it on, especially after you prepare to sell your house, kidneys and your grand-children's future.

(audience laughing)

 JM: Thing is though, as of now, there are 50 idols available (with more to be added later) and thing is though that there are three types of idols such as VOCAL, DANCE, and VISUAL.

RH: Each idol is different in stats and if a producer seized its opportunity against the odds, with the right training and the right idols, they will progress further to become a TOP IDOL. Well, this is much more like the Cinderella Girls game to be honest. There were NORMAL, RARE, SUPER RARE, and others. There's so many variations of each idol and each variation comes with different stats.

JM: Yeah, this needs a lot of experimenting to do, Hamster...

(audience laughing)

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