Saturday, September 8, 2012

Let's Do The News! (September 8, 2012)

The studio

Indeed, the news and this just in from Audi. It seems that...

Wait. Hold on! There's something even better than this! Hey fat one! Where are you?

I'm not listening! Nya! Nya! Nya! Nya!

(audience laughing)

2013 Suzuki Wagon R

Oh come on! Come here, pal. We're talking about it! Now anyway, since September 6, 2012, Suzuki launched the all new, fifth generation Suzuki Wagon R lineup, which now comes with the ENE-CHARGE system. Who wants to listen what just happened on the newly debuted fifth Wagon R?

(YES!)

That's the right decision. He received a memo that the all new Wagon R got recalled. (laughing)

(audience laughing)

It maybe a day old but...um...wait a minute? What's this? Recall? I got a message from Suzuki about a recall for the new Wagon R? But it's a day old for this car! What's the recall?

(audience laughing)

So, reliability issues for this one, eh? Tell me. What's the recall for? Come on you fat boring middle-aged man, explain....

Well...Suzuki says that the 2013 Wagon R got recalled due to the faulty left rear door. It says here..

"左リヤドアにおいて、リヤドアラッチの製造不良により当該ドアラッチ内部の樹脂部品が破損しているものがあり、ロック機構が作動しないため、ドアが確実に閉まらない場合があります。そのため、最悪の場合、走行中にドアが開くおそれがあります。"

...or in translation, there's something wrong with the left rear door. Also, the plastic parts inside the door latch has been damaged due to the bad production of the rear door latch. Then, the locking mechanism doesn't work when the door is not securely closed. The worst of all is that there's a possibility that the door will open by itself while running.

(ooohh)


Despite the new Wagon R being fuel efficient, it turned out to be unreliable due to the faulty rear door! (laughing)

(audience laughing)

So...what now?

Oh yes! Audi! They've launched the Cabriolet version of the hardcore RS5 coupe, which will go on sale next year.

2014 Audi RS5 Cabriolet

It's still the RS5 with the 4.2L V8 engine on it and quattro all wheel drive but sadly, this car's not quite as good as the BMW M3 as explained on Top Gear. It may have its roof blown off but it's still pointless, repetitious, and extremely dull serious performance car. (laughing)

Why not?

Because....well, to put it in terms, this is not quite a car for a premiership footballer in overalls to drive it. Also, this kind of RS5 is not the sort of Audi you want to take your gal for a night out because you might end up ruining her bangs.

(audience laughing)

What about being stung on your eyes at full speed ahead?

(audience laughing)

Well, I consider that. So then. Forget about that and move on. Anyway, Ryoko Shiraishi, who was Hayate Ayasaki from Hayate the Combat Butler, Aoi Nogami from Psychic Squad (Zettai Karen Children), and Mako from the Saki anime, we just heard that she got married on the date of her birthday, that is...yesterday, September 7.


So...she got married on the day of her birthday where she became 30 years old? Anyway, who did she married?

We don't know who but some say, he's an average company employee. Can't believe Ryoko Shiraishi grew up so fast. (sniff) She grew up so fast...

(awwww)

Glad I got some boxes of tissues though....

(audience laughing)

Speaking of which, because of Ryoko Shiraishi's marriage, could that jeopardize next month's CAN'T TAKE MY EYES OF YOU anime?

Huh? I don't know....

Shhh...enough of this matrimony and into something bad. Well, of course, we got two bad news that will make readers spit their coffee from their mouth when shocked.

(audience laughing)

First of the bad news was this...While waiting for the upcoming second season this year, we just picked up the news that the next volume of the Oreimo light novel will be...wait for it...wait for it....wait for it...wait for it....

SEVERAL PAGE FLIPPINGS LATER...

...wait for it...wait for it...wait for it....there!

What?

What is it?

Volume 12 of the Oreimo novel will be the LAST VOLUME. That was verified from the 11th Ore no Imōto ga Konnani Kawaii Wake ga Nai volume on Friday.

(awwww)

So, Oreimo, the one where it got an anime series in 2010 which became a phenomenal yet controversial hit, has its days numbered because Volume 12 is the last? So then, this will be the last for Kirino, Kuroneko, Kyouske, and the others?

Sadly, yes. Very sad.

(awwww)


So, Oreimo light novel's end is just one of your bad news so then, what's the second bad news?
Kokoro Connect

It's this okay? It was the anime called Kokoro Connect. Anyone watched it?

(murmuring)

Okay, we just heard that they're cancelling their publicity campaign and Ustream streaming portions of the Tochi Random publicity events for the September 8 to 9 weekend. We really don't know how that happened but some say, it's probably because of Mitsuhiro Ichiki, who was the appointed head of the show's public relations department. Last week, the official Kokoro Connect website said that there are two statements about Ichiki since the advanced screening in June. Then, there was some reactions about this whole "Candid Camera-style project" and there are confusions regarding Mr. Mitsuhiro Ichiki.


(ooohhh)

So, you're saying is, there was a part of the confusion that caused Kokoro Connect to cancel their PR publicity. Oh, speaking of which, they did cancel their itasha publicity campaign? Gosh, I wonder what car are they using on the PR campaign, which sadly was cancelled. Guess we can't guess what was that itasha so, whatever the heck is, it's all mystery to us until further notice....

(audience laughing)

Anyway, now. There was one thing I really didn't understand...

What?

It was some song from PSY titled Gangnam Style...

Gangnam Style? The newest craze for 2012?

(audience laughing and applause)

I really don't get it but how come this...Gangnam Style became more popular than Justin Bieber's Baby and how does this became a viral sensation?

Gangnam Style? Wait a minute? Could it be a Korean term for VIP STYLE?

(audience laughing)

Well, you know. When I have a South Korean luxury car all blinged up to VIP STYLE-ness and saying LOOK AT ME! I HAVE A SOUTH KOREAN LUXURY CAR ALL BLINGED UP! NOW THAT'S GANGNAM STYLE!

(audience laughing)

GANGNAM STYLE! YO YO YO! I'M FROM GANGNAM, YO! OPPA GANGNAM STYLE!!!

(audience laughing and applause)

(sonic screwdriver whirring)

Bite Me Alien Boy!!!

(audience laughing and applause)

There, that's better. That's one hamster froze, well quite literally. And on that bombshell, that's the news!

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