Porsche Macan

2015 Porsche Macan

The Porsche Macan, what's it all about? That looks like when someone told to Porsche that they have shrunk the Cayenne with their shrink-ray-inator, sized enough to match against other crossovers especially the Range Rover Evoque. Take a normal Audi Q5, strip it down like a stripper in a nightclub, make it as Porsche ugly as possible with enough "swagger" to confuse its foes, and load it with some complicating methods that is as complicating as graph theories, You'd never know the difference.

What's in the name? For humorous reasons, it goes like this; I'm a buff baby that can dance like a man, I can shake-a my fanny, I can shake-a MACAN. I'm a tough tootin' baby, I can punch-a yo buns! Punch-a yo buns, I can punch-a yo buns.

2015 Porsche Macan

First, let's take a look on the outside because like many other Porsches, it is as ugly enough to put a brace in its mouth and then the sweaters. What have you got? Sorry, I can't tell who that is but you just have to believe me or any other anti-Porsche dudes because that is just hideous enough to drive it to the shops or at Saint Tropez.

2015 Porsche Macan interior

If the outside view is catastrophic enough for your eyesights, the interior, like many Porsches, is too complicating to operate. If you study hard enough about the interior layout, you might memorize where the TCS, electronic parking brake, sport mode, or any other buttons are.

Even though the Macan can seat up to five people like any other junior crossovers in the luxury car market does, it's surprisingly 1.7 inches longer and 1.4 inches wider than the crossover where it was based, the Audi Q5, so your friends do have enough legroom to squeeze it in. When compared to the Range Rover Evoque and the Mercedes-Benz GLA-Class, the new Porsche Macan is amazingly the longest in wheelbase, tallest in height, and the widest in width so its dimension really is a plus. If you were in that situation, you have the devil's due to explain why. Nice job though but it's not over yet. When you check the weight between these three, it appears that the Macan is the heaviest of them three and at the weight of the entry level's 1,940kg, that's almost 400kg more than the Evoque. Even though it comes with a 4WD layout, you might have a struggle to handle the Macan like a prancing fool. Thanks to the addition of electro-mechanical power steering like what you expect from the 991 911, it feels less communicative than what you expect from any other sporty crossovers.

2015 Porsche Macan

The Macan S variant comes with either a 3.0L V6 engine developing 340PS of power or a Euro 6-compliant 3.0L V6 diesel engine developing 258PS of power output, while the flagship Macan Turbo model is powered by a turbocharged 3.6L V6 engine developing a sportscar-like 400PS of power output with a 165mph top speed. All models come with Porsche's 7-speed doppelkupplungsgetriebe standard.

For comparison's sake, the Macan S with the 3.0L V6 petrol engine has more power than the Evoque Autobiography Dynamic model that comes with a lesser 2.0L petrol engine developing a lesser 285PS of power. That's another point for the Porsche. Good job though, and when you put the high-end Porsche Macan Turbo against its Evoque opposition; you'll get the experience that you felt from the Battle of the Atlantic. Another score for the Macan.

The Porsche Macan really loves punching its crossover foes for fun, as fun as baby Finn singing the whole "punch-a yo buns" song. Maybe Porsche really does have a point of making a Macan because even though it's just a buff baby Cayenne, it can dance like a Cayenne or a Cayman of some sorts.

Don't get too excited just yet because this tough tootin' baby Porsche SUV starts at 57,930 Euros for the Macan S model and when compared to the Evoque, that's over ten thousand more. On the upshot, that's about two thousand less than the base Porsche Cayenne. Not bad but still too expensive to have one of these in my whole life.

Would you buy one? If you're more into righteous indignation and in the mood of saying "Back off, EA!", yes you can...if you got the funds to buy one. Go punch-a someone's buns with this crossover, though. Although I don't like the styling, it still has enough tricks to outpace its foes and punch them for fun.

Available colors: schwarz, tiefschwarzmetallic, rhodiumsilbermetallic, dunkelblaumetallic, achatgraumetallic, mahagonimetallic, and palladiummetallic.

Photo: Dr. Ing. h.c. F. Porsche AG.