Friday, August 3, 2012

Let's Do The News! (August 3, 2012)

And now the news! So, you were saying that GT5 doesn't have the New GS? Forza 4 has one?

Indeed yes. Can't believe the boffins of Gran Turismo didn't even like the Spindle Grille. I just want to drive one at Fuji Speedway.

Anyway, can we do some proper news now?

Right.

Anyway, remember the Roxas Blvd flood earlier. As of now, it's depleting and what they found here are some...ewww....garbage! Who would do such thing I mean most of them are throwing garbage irresponsibly. It's their fault for this!

Yeah. Turning rivers into a giant trash bin? Ahem, don't you know what this is? This is what happened when every single idiot are throwing massive garbage in the river. What's next? A giant silo packed with pig manure?

(audience laughing)

Pig manure? That would be impossible. Only Homer would do that from The Simpsons movie. (laughing) Anyway, I think everyone around here have learned their lesson...

Wait....This whole dumping of garbage at the river case, how would authorities figuring out some causes? It's like, you wouldn't understand what's behind this. Squatters maybe?

Squatters....that's the most of their problems because, who would rather put some shanties at the river? That's what causing the dumping! You know what the authorities would do? They should better demolish it! Destroy! DELETE! EXTERMINATE!

(audience laughing)

Whoa there pal. No fun. What about the families living? I mean, they lived here and what would they react to your point? Yep, they'll be throwing some massive complaints to you because you think of them as the main resource of dumping garbage in the rivers.

Whoops. Sorry, didn't meant to say that. I was trying to be satirical. Like Jeremy Clarkson, thinking that union protesters has to be shot dead next to their families.

..and getting worse because people think you said a cruel joke.

(audience laughing)

Anyway, what's that on your hand?

Psychic paper.

What?

PSYCHIC PAPER! Looks like a blank paper but it works like magic. Doctor Who used that.

Anyway, what's that it said on your little....Psychic Paper?

Says here....Pagani Zonda R Evoluzione debuted at 2012 Goodwood Festival of Speed a few weeks ago...



What? I thought the Zonda is dead and replaced by the Huayra?

That's what they thought but this Zonda R Evoluzione proves that there's life to this decade old Modena exotic.

Oh...

Wait! There's another one said on the Psychic Paper...

What is it?

Says here um... 1,000 1-Series M Coupe units left for sale


Ahem...you know that production of the 1M Coupe ended since March. We told that after we went back from the easter holiday. So, with 1000 units left worldwide, it seems that most enthusiasts have gone to an elusive hunt for these baby M's. This one's a collector's item.

Yep. Really is a collector's item. Be sure to get one quick because when they're gone, they're gone for good. Right?

Oh wait! Hold on! Another one coming up! Psychic Paper giving me messages. Cool.

So, what is it this time?

Says here...2013MY Volkswagen Amarok gains an enhanced diesel powertrain along with new convenience features, an increased trailer load and an extended 12 warranty against corrosion perforation.


So...2013 Amarok, the engine performance of the manual gearbox equipped 2.0-liter BiTurbo TDI diesel unit has been boosted from 161hp (163PS) to 177hp (180PS) bringing it to the same output level as the automatic transmission versions. Then, BlueMotion Technology and automatic transmission variants were available....

That's amazing for the German pickup truck that takes on the un-Japanese and un-American midsize trucks. This is the only pickup truck we could trust even though it's expensive. This is the only pickup truck that was sold in its home market.

Right. The only pickup truck that is sold to its home market. Unlike Isuzu, Toyota, Mitsubishi, Nissan, Ford, and Chevy. Why can't their midsize trucks don't work on their home market?!

(audience laughing)

Oh! Oh! There's another one and you'll gonna like it!

What is it?

It says...Have you seen the full trailer of the upcoming season of Doctor Who?!

....WATCH THIS!




(AUDIENCE APPLAUSE)

Best trailer ever! And at the end of that trailer...WHO KILLED ALL THE DALEKS?

Yeah! Who killed all the Daleks? Who do you think?

We don't know! Is it our heroes? OR IS IT? I'm afraid we have to wait to find out the answer! Speaking of which, there was one part on the trailer that the Weeping Angels are back with a vengeance. As we all know, the Weeping Angels are far out the most scariest Doctor Who enemies ever seen because...what what can you say?

DON'T BLINK! DON'T BLINK! Don't turn back!

Yeah. Turns out there's going to be some new variant of this Weeping Angel monster. Seen here?


Some say, there could be the "baby" of the Weeping Angels. That reminds me... (clears throat) Could that reminded me of that baby angel statue we had outside of our home?


(audience laughing)

Who knows? Don't blink! If that touched us, we're dead. We could be killed by some moving statues! (laughing)

And another thing that I really REALLY don't understand was...

Dinosaurs! On a Spaceship! What?! A Jurassic spaceship? Spaceship loaded with dinosaurs? This could be worse than dinosaurs at the Top Gear Test Track during the Z4 vs. 370Z review.

(audience laughing)




DINOSAURS! ON THE TOP GEAR TEST TRACK!!! (laughing)

Who wouldn't?! It seems that the BBC Television Center's gone a bit jurassic! Hat tip to the producers!

Anyway, on that bombshell...what's that said on the psychic paper?

THAT'S THE NEWS!!!

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